a funny thing happened on the way to get surgical masks

fam_masks_bio_surgical_10pkg-2685Ahhh, swine flu, where have you been all my life?   Why were you such a hot topic in ’76, yet seemed to appear out of nowhere in ’09?   In all seriousness this stuff is beyond scary and Saturday night I got caught up in the freakout.   Around 8:30pm I decided I must pick up surgical masks…like I would die unless I did it right that second.   I jumped in the car and jetted towards the closest CVS.   Halfway there I started sniffling for no reason, which of course freaked me out further because it could be SWINE FLU!   I went to wipe my nose against my sleeve (go ahead judge me here, it’s going to get worse soon) only to find I didn’t have the sniffles or a runny nose but the hotness of a bloody nose!  While driving.   Score!

I’m not a prepared driver who carries a tissue box at the ready…there may have been one in the backseat, but as I was driving, and attempting to not bleed all over my car I grabbed the closest thing to me which was a beach towel.   I’ve decided I can still make it to CVS, I just need to put pressure on my nose to make the bleeding stop…oh and drive safely which requires me to remove the towel from my nose.

I finally make it to the CVS and sit and wait for the hemmoraging to pass.  I’m certain it will end soon and I’ll be all set to go in and purchase my surgical masks to do my part to prevent the swine flu pandemic.   After a few minutes of waiting I switch on the lights to see the damage (because who can’t rock a bloody nose) only to see that my bloody nose has moved from one nostril to two!   Score, score!

I eventually made it home and after 30 minutes got the bleeding to stop.   I’ve decided my dual bloody nose was a sign from God that if I want to avoid the swine flu, I should skip the surgical masks and just wash my hands as often as possible.

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